Crazy Woman Mead

The Legend of the Crazy Woman

 

Let me tell you of the great story of the Crazy Woman and how she became to be. The Crazy Woman was not always as crazy as you see her today. A vast many years ago she was known by another name, the Great Shieldmaiden Geraghty. Geraghty was a great warrior known for her prowess in combat and her strength amongst both men and women. Married to a great warrior, The Wild Man, she fought fiercely beside him in many battles. Their love was strong and the two would shake the earth when they so choose to show each other! Even the gods themselves would stand in awe of the power the two of them could create. But through this love they strengthened their resolve and moved as an almost unitary force through the turmoils of war and life.


One dark and stormy morning in the Northlands of Jutland, Geraghty and the Wild Man joined their countrymen as they faced a large force of Danes led by the Great Ulrich. Ulrich was a seven-foot tall warrior who had sent many a fighter to the Valkyries. But on this ominous morning Ulrich would meet his greatest foe, The Wild Man. Standing with eagerness the two men searched for their forlorn prey. Staring across the field at one another, their eyes finally locked in a gaze anticipating the impending battle, and the two forces began to run towards another. As the armies came closer, they began to garner more and more speed, until the men sounded like a thundering herd of bulls steaming at the nostrils. As the two armies collided the gods cheered at the sound and the Valkyries rousted from their hellish nests. Man against man and steel against flesh the battle raged. Geraghty slashed, stabbed, kicked, and carved her way through the enemy Danes. 


The Wild Man meanwhile had found the Great Ulrich. As the sound of sword on shield and axe on mail roared across the battlefield, Geraghty glanced over to look at her heroic Wild Man. As she peered through the steam coming off of the fallen, she saw the Wild Man locked into the throes of war. Then a single swing of Ulrichs swept over the top of the Wild Man’s shield severing his head from his body. Geraghty could not believe the site before her and raced towards Ulrich. Becoming completely drunk with wrath and bloodlust she was a force unstoppable. Striking Ulrich with her shield she forced the giant to the ground. She then dropped her shield and sword and took after the king with her fists and teeth. The power of her hand crushed through his skull on one fell swoop. With the power of ten warriors she pummeled the colossal beast. With rage she continued her onslaught tearing the off the man’s face with her teeth. Finally done with her prey she looked up though blood running down her eyes, the entire battlefield was stopped staring in disbelief at the mayhem that had just ensued. Geraghty calmly stood up and the entire battlefield bowed in wonder and admiration of the chaos they had just witnessed. With the battle over and singlehandedly won by the Great Geraghty, the armies left and let the Valkyries have their feast.


Our Great Geraghty’s story does not end there. Returning home, her ferocity was never forgotten. Unable to return to a normal life without her Wild Man and knowing all enemy armies would relinquish their fight for fear of the Great Geraghty, her purpose for life and battle had ceased. Not knowing what to do Geraghty vanished to the Black Forest. Many men traveling the Black Forest today have never returned though. Survivors only tell tales of a most beautiful women visiting their camps. Dressed in cloth with no shield or sword, carrying a chicken under her arms, she does not look like the Great Shieldmaiden Geraghty we have all heard of. As she talks with the men, all of a sudden she shrieks and pounces upon them with unrelenting fury and the tact of a seasoned warrior, ultimately tearing their faces off. Camps of 15 dwindle down to only a single soul, camps of 30 fall to merely 3 or 4, and camps of all sizes vanish of the map completely. It is with these stories we know the Great Geraghty has become the Crazy Woman.


 We salute you Crazy Woman for your prowess in battle, your ability to slay

giants, your power of love, and we respect your continued ability to kill us where we stand. So raise your horns to the Crazy Woman and forever fear her wrath!

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